Immortal Weapons #1

Holy cow this was a lot of fun. Having a big doofus like Fat Cobra to build a story around lets Jason Aaron cut loose with the ideas. Fat Cobra has commissioned a man to write about his life, from birth to the present. Due to huge amounts of alcohol, Fat Cobra can't remember his own history.

As you can guess, Fat Cobra has lived a very interesting life. In fact, Aaron has so many ideas that he has to cram each great idea into only one panel. These are concepts that frankly could support whole series or limiteds. C'mon, who doesn't want to read about Nick Fury and Fat Cobra battling Russian werewolf-cosmonauts on the Moon or Union Jack and Fat Cobra vs. Nazi Vampire Ninjas? The whole issue is like that, with ideas coming a mile a minute that just make Fat Cobra cooler and more fun. Aaron tried to go for the heart when we find out that Cobra's kids all teamed up to kill their irresponsible Dad, but instead he killed them. By the time the story gets there, Cobra is clearly a man with no boundaries. Trying to tie him down with that sadness just didn't feel right. But Aaron took care of that too, having Cobra drown the memories of the book in wine as he burned the manuscript. Cobra will be just as we like him in his next appearance.

A few different artists tackle the different parts of Cobra's life, and they all do nice work. The ball is in your court, Marvel, how about a Fat Cobra ongoing? Legends of Fat Cobra? Fat Cobra Classified? I can only hope the next Immortal Weapon book is this good.

Excellent

New Avengers #55

Sometimes Bendis does his thing very well. Having Bucky-Cap infuriated by the New Avengers messing up his home is genius. That's the type of idea that Bendis does so well. Not surprisingly, that's the best part of the issue. I like thinking that the dirty house is all Bucky can think about all issue long.

That said, I HATE that Bendis had Hawkeye talk about trying to kill Norman Osborn. Hawkeye was always the Avenger against killing, from Solo Avengers to West Coast Avengers to Busiek's time on the title. Bendis made this heroic character into a one-note foil for Spidey. Spidey came off great here, wanting to rise above the evil ways of Osborn, wanting everyone to just try harder to be more heroic. The problem is that Hawkeye should be acting that same way. The argument just doesn't work coming from Hawkeye. There is just no way Spidey should be poking fun at Hawkeye for being crazy and unreasonable. Let's all remember that Hawkeye split up the West Coast Avengers when Mockingbird let her attempted rapist fall off a cliff. This is a guy who's against killing! I'm a bit disappointed in Tom Brevoort for letting Hawk get dragged through the mud just to make Spidey look better.

The main thrust of this storyline seems to be that the Hood's flunkies, on their own initiative, have created a power dampener to use on the New Avengers. I like the idea since it is a relatively classic conflict that doesn't overly rely on the Dark Reign status quo. This could be any villainous gang taking on the Avengers and robbing them of their powers. Now why a power dampener would make Hawkeye projectile vomit? That I can't answer, but I'm sure it will be dealt with (suuure it will).

Stuart Immonen comes aboard as regular penciller this issue, so of course everything looks great. He raises the grade just with his art.

I realize I'm just another fanboy lost in the past and whining about how things used to be in old comics. I realize that. I'm just disappointed when I read some comics that embrace their history so effectively (like Thunderbolts or Nova) and then I see one of my favorite characters totally morphed into something silly here in New Avengers.

Average

Dark Reign: Lethal Legion #2

Frank Tieri has put together a fun little limited series that highlights one of my favorite Avengers; Wonder Man. As the story progresses, we find out that Wonder Man joined up with his brother, the Grim Reaper, and the new Lethal Legion because Wondy was so offended at the idea of Norman Osborn taking over the Avengers. Wonder Man overestimated his abilities and decided that he would try to reform the crew the same way Cap did with the "Kooky Quartet" and Hawkeye did with the Thunderbolts. Tieri did some really neat stuff with WM here, having Wondy talk about why he felt he had to go back to his brother. Regardless of whatever else has happened in their relationship, the Reaper is still his brother and it was Wonder Man's "death" back in Avengers 4 that turned the Reaper into a villain. I loved this look at the fall of Wonder Man's plan to reform the Legion. There is more to the story, like the actual assault the Legion attempts on Avengers Tower, some nice fleshing out of Absorbing Man's past, and the ongoing plot of who betrayed the Legion. All these elements mix together to make a very entertaining story that may actually hold up as a good Avengers story when its over.

Mateus Santolouco keeps the art nice and gritty, which is appropriate for this crime-based story. He still does a nice job making Wondy look a bit out of place, he's brigher and more heroic looking than the surrounding characters, especially in the flashbacks.

Good

Goon & Dethklok One Shot #1

This comic felt so much like an episode of Metalapocalypse that I could hear the voices in my head. From the setup with the secret cabal dedicated to the study of Dethklok to the lawyer's dialogue, everything was perfect. This kind of thing can be pretty hard to pull off, and even harder to do well, but this was one heckuva team up. Skwisgaar hooked up with a gypsy g-milf, Toki had a silly new idea, and Murderface was gross. Just fantastic stuff all around. The opening warning from Skwisgaar did a nice job of warning the reader that anything can happen. People die, become coke-heads, and get genetically linked to insane royalty. None of it sticks, of course, but damn if it isn't funny.

Eric Powell did a nice job with the art, making half the book look cartoony, then placing the cartoon characters into the grimy world of the Goon. Truthfully, the Dethklok portions of the book are the better parts, and the property translated into written form better than I thought it could.

Good

Spectacular Spider-Man #81&82 (1983)

This isn't one of Bill Mantlo's better stories. Mantlo really seemed to love his creations Cloak & Dagger, and they showed up again here, deciding to eliminate another crime boss in the Kingpin. I did like the scene where Spidey tried to warn them off, but they argue that they successfully took out Silvermane after Spidey tried to steer them away, so why would they fail now? Mantlo did keep away from his penchant for having Spidey sort of lusting after Dagger, maybe because Spidey was so wrapped up with his current gal the Black Cat. In most of the other appearances of C&D, Spidey was sure that Dagger is both hot and good, and that Cloak is responsible for every bad thing she does. It's a pretty simplistic view that I was happy didn't come up in these two issues.

The Punisher has a pretty big part here too, first in his escape from prison (with assistance from Boomerang!) and then with his own hunt for the Kingpin. There's all sorts of tricks to make the Punisher more palatable to the comics code, like his use of mercy bullets on drug dealers or his failure to actually kill anyone in this story. He does take some shots at a wife-beater and then goes further down the criminal ladder to target dangerous drivers and litterbugs. His internal dialogue/war journal is much more anguished and silly sounding than anything done recently. In the end, Punisher faces off against the Kingpin, who thrashes him. To make his defeat even more humiliating, the Kingpin decides that Frank "isn't worth killing." I bet Kingpin would regret that if he knew how many folks Punisher would gun down over the next 30 years of comics!

I haven't had a lot to say about Spidey in this, because he really is one of a ensemble here. I think Mantlo did his best work with the Spidey vs. 1 or 2 villain format, and this story is proof. Everything just got too confusining and by the end it seemed like nothing had been accomplished. No one learned anything, only the Punisher is in jail, and its status quo for everyone else.

I did like Spidey deciding that action is the best way to avoid thinking about girls though!
Al Milgrom penciled both issues, with some inking help from Jim Mooney. Mooney obviously loved spending time on Spidey, since he looked better than everyone else. Overall though, this does have quite a dated look.

Average

Gears of War #9

So that's why there aren't any lady-Gears of War. It seems that in the race to provide soldiers to fight the Locust, women have been rounded up into birthing camps to provide the next generation of soldiers. It's a pretty rough take on the future in an already depressing world, but even worse, it makes the good guys lose a lot of credibility. Michael Capps and Joshua Ortega are building the official world of Gears here, so having what is blatantly described as a "rape-camp" as a known factor for the good-guys makes them considerably less "good." Again, it makes sense in the dark world we've gotten from the games, but I still don't like it.

The new lady Gear is Alex, who is as tough, smart, and daring as any of the other Gears we've met so far. She, Baird, and the Cole-train are re-assigned to Delta to check out possible survivors back at the old camp where Alex had spent her childhood. Her flashbacks are quite upsetting, and take up most of the issue. The issue closes with Delta facing off against what seems to be a bunch more survivors, tough gals who seem to have turned bad in their years since COG left them behind (think Mad Max or Doomsday for their design). We only get two types of Locust in this one, tickers and drones, but damn if I don't still get a kick out of seeing this great game-world expanded and explored.

Liam Sharp's art is still perfect for this. His brutal pencilling style works well in combat and his penchant for drawing hulking, muscled dudes couldn't be put to better use. Everyone looks on-model from the game too.

Fair

All-New Savage She-Hulk #4

Jen Walters, the original She-Hulk ends up with a bigger part in the story than I had expected. Lyra (the future, savage She-Hulk) decides to abandon her mission (of procreating with the obviously evil Norman Osborn) and instead she decides to escape the clutches of the Dark Avengers. Fortunately, Jen Walters is working for ARMOR (the inter-dimensional equivalent of SHIELD) and gets permission to break into Avengers tower to rescue Lyra. Jen has a great bit where she offers to be the new "Dark She-Hulk." It's a nice bit of meta-commentary, so it's clear that writer Fred Van Lente is aware that Jen has a lot of fans that don't want to see her shuffled aside. There are some neat moments while the She-Hulks battle the Dark Avengers, with the high point being poor Bullseye's attack on Lyra. He throws a few daggers at her throat, boasting that "I never miss." As the daggers shatter on her hard skin, she comments "That's nice." Bullseyse has really had a rough time since joining the Dark Avengers. It seems everyone is following in Warren Ellis' Thunderbolt footprints. That is, Bullseye is great against normal people, but against super-powers he's not really able to compete.

This is an action packed issue that wraps up the story nicely. It also sets up Lyra with a unique new status quo as an agent of ARMOR. I wish she'd get a new name, since I want Jen Walters to be the only She-Hulk, but I guess we're in for some confusion with that name over the next few months. This was a good way to keep up with Jen Walters during Dark Reign, so I do think it is worth picking up. Heck, I'd pick it up just for the smackdown Jen gave Sentry last issue.

Peter Vale and Michael Ryan keep things crisp and clear, with nice action panels. The stand-off page is quite neat too, with an interesting angle I don't think I've seen in too many comics.

Good